LifePlanner.Club I AM 10 ways to be happy
- masterofnunn
- Apr 13
- 8 min read
LifePlanner.Club I AM
10 ways to be happy
Ever notice how the people who seem happiest are often the ones who care the least about impressing everyone else?
The paradox is real: the more we care about everything, the less happy we become. Iat the age of probably the age of 4 to today still care about what people think. But do I really? Yes, I want to dress smart with neatly cut hair when I go anywhere but that is me. But do I really care about what people think? I put this is reverse Do I really care about x, y, z, the way they are, the way they dress or their appearance - not really and if I do it would be a nano second. Vice a versa I pity someone that wants to spend more than a nano second analysing me. So there you have it NO ONE REALLY CARES.
The following is gives you further insight
1. Stop trying to win arguments that don’t matter
Remember the last time you got into a heated debate in some random comment section? How did that work out for you?
Most arguments are about ego, not truth. We want to be right more than we want to understand. But here’s what I’ve learned: being right about trivial things is a terrible prize.
Pick your battles wisely. Save your energy for discussions that actually impact your life or the lives of people you care about. Let Karen from Facebook think pineapple belongs on pizza. Who cares? Don't waste your time. Think is this productivity. Will it help in life. Will it help in my life - probably not.
A mantra I always think about is 'are you listening to me or just waiting for me to finish so that you can talk'. People that jump in half way through your conversation or let you finish and go on about their story, experience, a more interesting fact are no interested in you or anyone they just want to go on their ego trip.
2. Release your death grip on outcomes
We create these elaborate mental movies about how things should unfold, then feel crushed when reality has different plans. At the age of 7 or younger I did not want to be a footballer, fireman, policeman but an architect and would design plans for my property developer brother-in-law. In technical drawing I received over 95% and thought I was on the way to a great career that I always wanted plus I had been top of the maths class for 4 years so I was on my way.. However, because of a change in the teacher I received an average 60% and my careers officer said architecture was out of the question but because I was top of the maths class offered me a job settling bets in the local betting shop.
Do your best, then let go. Control what you can control: your effort, your attitude, your choices. Everything else? That’s just weather. You don’t get mad at clouds for raining, do you? Shut Up & Move On (SUMO)
3. Embrace your weird
You know what’s exhausting? Pretending to be someone you’re not just to fit in.
I was always different as above I wanted to be an architect at a young age when all my class mates had not even heard about it. Yes, I did fit in with the others but at my terms and honestly I enjoyed playing football and all sports, mucking about and sometimes getting into trouble.
I used to hide my interest in meditation and Eastern philosophy because I thought it made me seem too “out there.” But again I got into Yoga and all they it gave me at an early age and I still practice to this day.
As above, In my day the career officer labelled you and had a list of jobs to fill. So many of my class mates ended up in dead end jobs Messengers, Apprentice car mechanic, Post office workers. I realised an architect was out because of a 7 year qualification but also a hairdresser and fashion designer meant more school and little wages. However, I did realise that I was different and went to the soul clubs and not the pubs, mixed with fashionable people and had an interest in clothes and dancing but mainly I knew I was a creator. So would call that weird especially in the 60's now ……
Your quirks aren’t bugs; they’re features. The people who matter won’t mind your weirdness. In fact, they’ll probably love you more for it. The ones who judge? They’re doing you a favour by showing themselves as the normal and if they cannot help or assist you then are they acceptable
4. Let people be wrong about you
This might be the hardest one on the list. When someone misunderstands you or makes incorrect assumptions, every fibre of your being wants to set the record straight. But consider this: not everyone deserves an explanation. Not everyone has earned the right to your energy. Sometimes the most powerful response is no response at all.
It goes back to the above about arguments and debates, unless your into politics as a career does it really matter about things are you going to change them , can you change them.
I have the odd rant on X but would then get involved with a mass of people who have the spare time to waste time.
People will create narratives about you based on their own insecurities and limited perspectives. That’s their business, not yours. Good Luck to them in wasting their time but make sure it is not yours
5. Stop apologizing for taking up space
How many times have you started an email with “Sorry to bother you”? Or apologized for having preferences, boundaries, or basic human needs? Straight away you're on the back foot and unfortunately in some cases if you show a little sign of weakness some people will crush you.
You’re allowed to exist. You’re allowed to have opinions. You’re allowed to say no without providing a dissertation on why.
Stop shrinking yourself to make other people comfortable. The right people won’t need you to be smaller for them to feel bigger. If you keep on agreeing with them and do not show your true self then you are in the danger of becoming a clone or invisible.
6. Accept that some people won’t like you
You could be the smartest, handsome, skilled, nicest, richest person in the world, and there will still be people who hate you. Trying to be universally liked is like trying to make water that isn’t wet. It’s impossible, exhausting and will suck you dry. They maybe envious or jealous in which case it is better to give them a wide berth and stay away from them if possible.
Do not try to please them you are wasting your time. I learnt at a very young age in primary school that no matter what I could not get x to like me despite helping her with her homework, carrying her bag, drawing pictures for her. My heart can to an abrupt stop when on St. Valentines day I had saving up to buy her some chocolates and she just loved in my face, showed her friends and I was a laughing stock for the rest of the year. Lesson learnt.
When you accept that some people simply won’t vibe with you, you free yourself to be authentic with the ones who do. Quality over quantity, always.
7. Give up on perfect
Perfectionism and Procrastination can be the biggest killers in life. Nothing ever felt good enough. Every achievement was immediately overshadowed by the next impossible standard. I was so focused on avoiding mistakes that I did not complete tasks.
Reading self-help books and Just Do it books made me really and idea is just an idea. If I have an idea about a book then it is just an idea until I publish it. My website www.masteofnunn.co.uk is not perfect and I still have sleepless nights about what I have not completed. I have even changed the name to www.LifePlanner.Club to help.
In the end as with everything website, books, templates, social media posting, blog posting, content posting Just Do It and get it out there you can also tweak it later but at least someone is going to see it about from you.
Good enough is usually good enough. Done is better than perfect. Progress beats perfection every single time.
SLife isn’t a competition, despite what social media might have you believe.
Counting who did what for whom, comparing your chapter 3 to someone else’s chapter 20, keeping tabs on who “owes” you. It’s exhausting and pointless.
Focus on your own journey. Celebrate others’ wins without making them about your losses. Give without expecting returns. The mental freedom this brings is worth more than any scoreboard victory.
9. Let go of toxic positivity
You don’t have to be grateful for everything. You don’t have to find the silver lining in every cloud. Sometimes things just suck, and that’s okay.
This pressure to be constantly upbeat and optimistic is its own form of tyranny. It invalidates real emotions and creates shame around normal human experiences like sadness, anger, or disappointment.
Feel what you feel. Process it. Then move forward when you’re ready, not when Instagram quotes tell you to.
Eckhart Tolle has written a good book on NOW. I know people that are constantly looking back I could - If only I became an Architect & if I was an Architect in the future I could have designed a new x. Forget the past and future live for today.
10. Care deeply about fewer things
Here’s the plot twist: not caring about most things allows you to care deeply about what matters.
When you stop spreading your emotional energy thin across a thousand different concerns, you can invest fully in the few things that genuinely light you up. Your relationships. Your passions. Your growth.
I am the Maste of Nunn and I used to have several Things To Do lists Websites x 5, Ig x 10, Facebook x 6, Etsy x 2, TikTok x2, Pinterest, Tumblr, Family tree, Travelling, Blogs, Photography, Sports, Gym, running, Exercise, Yoga, Meditation, Graphic Design, author, Books, template, Printful, Prinify, Red Bubble, TeeSpring, TeePublic. My head would explode every time I sat down at a desk.
Now I write down 1 Thing To Do
You can choose 3-5 things that matter to you and are a priority. Focus & pour yourself into those. Everything else gets the “that’s nice” treatment and moves along. My To Do priority of filing all my photographs in order is now 40 years old.
Final words
Learning not to care isn’t about becoming indifferent to life. It’s about becoming intentional with your caring.
Every moment you spend worrying about someone’s opinion who wouldn’t attend your funeral is a moment stolen from people who would. Every ounce of energy you pour into maintaining a perfect image is energy you can’t use to build something meaningful.
The art of not caring is really the art of caring smartly. It’s about recognizing that your emotional bandwidth is finite and choosing to spend it wisely.
Start small. Pick one thing from this list and practice it this week. Notice how it feels to release that particular burden. Then add another.
You’ll find that the less you care about the meaningless noise, the more space you create for what actually matters. And that space? That’s where happiness lives.
Final, final word - do I care if you read this article - Am I bovvered (Catherine Tate)
Master of Nunn is no expert so get an expert
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