There are countless reasons why you might feel stressed or anxious and the important thing is to work out how to manage these feelings to minimise their impact on your quality of life.

Firstly, try to acknowledge your feelings, as then you can take steps to start feeling better.

Here, we’ll take a closer look at what anxiety and stress are and pointers on how to help

What is stress?

Stress is a feeling we get when we’re overloaded or unable to cope with the demands we’re facing – it’s the body’s reaction to physical, mental, or emotional pressure.

Our bodies and minds respond to these feelings with symptoms such as…

• Muscle tension

• Headaches or dizziness

• Indigestion

• Problem sleeping

• Irritability

• Constant worrying

• Eating too much or too little

• Feeling tearful or crying

What is anxiety?

When we’re anxious, we tend to feel tense, worried, or nervous. Sometimes, this anxiety doesn’t have a clear trigger, and we may simply feel this way about everyday tasks. Other times, this anxiety may be related to specific things that are about to happen or might happen in the future.

Anxiety is a natural human response when we feel we might be under threat. It happens when our bodies release hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to respond to the threat. These hormones make our hearts beat faster to pump blood to where it’s needed most and make us feel more alert so we can act faster.

Once we perceive that the threat is over, our muscles relax, after which we may feel tired and shaky.

It’s normal to experience anxiety occasionally – for instance, if you’re going through a stressful situation or adjusting to a big change. But if those feelings of anxiety become particularly strong or last a long time, they can significantly impact your mental health.

Symptoms of anxiety include…

• Tiredness

• Feeling sick

• Shortness of breath

• Excessive sweating

• Pins and needles

• Restlessness

• Feeling ‘on edge’

• A sense of dread

  
  

7 Pointers to help you cope with stress and anxiety

1. Focus on the present

Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed, have a lot on your mind, or are worried about the future. Whatever your reason for feeling stressed or anxious, returning your mind to the present moment can offer relief.

Many of us struggle with this, especially when life gets busy. It can be easy to spend time rushing around and planning our next steps, rather than focusing on the present.

One of the most effective ways to live in the here and now is to practise mindfulness. This can help us foster a greater awareness of our feelings, sensations, and surroundings at any given moment.

For example, focus on the breathe entering through the nose and out through the mouth. There are also other methods of breathing e.g. box - look at some YouTube videos for help on technic. Also focus on what you are doing instead of going in auto pilot. It is always a go idea to eat at a table and with the family rather than have a TV meal whereby you do not appreciate the food becasue you are absorbed by the TV programme. Savor every mouthful of your meal and that steak will taste 10 times better.

Often, we feel stressed or anxious because we feel like we lack control. Mindfulness can help us feel calmer and more in control of our bodies and thoughts, making it easier to enjoy and appreciate the little things we often ignore, instead of worrying about the future.

Eckhart Tolle wrote a famous book on The Power of Now - available on my Free Monthly Book Draw

2. Do something active

When you feel stressed or anxious, perhaps the last thing you’re looking to do is exercise – maybe because you don’t feel like you have the time or simply want to curl up and hide from the world. But it’s important to remember that exercise is just as good for our minds as it is for our bodies.

A good workout can affect the chemical balance of our hormones. It can reduce cortisol (stress and anxiety hormones) and stimulate the production of endorphins (happy hormones).

Research shows that physical activity can help to combat racing thoughts, improve Self-Esteem and encourage better sleep, all of which contribute to a greater sense of well-being.

Doing something active simply means moving more; it doesn’t have to involve anything overly strenuous Walk, Jog, Run around the woods or forest. Go to the gym or enter a gym classs and enjoy a nice relaxing shower afterwards. Gardening or household chores are a great way to focus on something different.

Getting out is an alternative rather than staying and possibily hiding from the world. It does not have to be a big deal a quick trip to the shop to get a paper is an achievement and you will feel better for it.

3. Challenge negative thoughts

When our mood is suffering, it’s not uncommon for us to have negative thoughts. These could be things like “I can’t cope”, “I’m so useless”, or “I’m a failure.”

First and foremost, remember that these are merely thoughts that will pass – they aren’t a reflection of you or your future.

There are two common ways to think about and label negative thoughts to spot and challenge them. The first type of thought can be described as ‘Negative Automatic Thoughts’ (NATs). These thoughts, like those listed above, make you feel bad about yourself and are self-sabotaging. They often pop into our heads uninvited and are very critical.

The other common type of negative thinking is ‘catastrophising’, which can lead us to look at the future through a negative lens and predict the worst outcome. For example, we might think, “I’m never going to get a job”, “I’m not going to be able to pay my mortgage”, or “I can’t go. What if no one likes me?”

It can be helpful to identify when we’re entering into either of these negative thought patterns to challenge them, rather than simply accepting them.

Whenever you have a negative thought, take a moment to consider whether it’s reality and how you’d feel if a friend spoke about themselves or their situation in this way. Chances are, you’d disagree with them and offer them reassurance and advice instead.

As above, remember The Power of Now live in the moment not in the past or the future. That argument etc is history - move on or WWIII is just a thought of the future and does not exist.

If you can show compassion to others, you can also be kind to yourself. So, consider how you’d view yourself and your situation if you were being positive. Ask yourself, “What’s the best thing that could happen?” and “What are the good things I’ve done today?”

Often, we can get so used to being down on ourselves that it becomes the norm. Once we start to challenge this, we begin to see that there are other ways of thinking about things and that our thoughts are changeable.

4. Help someone else

Many of us find it difficult to help ourselves, but much easier to lend a hand to someone else. Helping others can give us a sense of reward and purpose, which can boost our mood.

It’s possible that while we’re busy helping someone else, we simply won’t have time to stress and worry about our own lives. Helping others is also a great way to connect. which helps to relieve stress.

If you’re interested in giving your time to help others, there are plenty of ideas on our volunteer groups – from helping homeless people, working in a charity shop, to caring for animals. If you like history or gardening volunteer for the National Trust or RHS to help. Also, remember it is for you as well don't take on too much that it becomes a chore and eventually you dread going.

However, every little bit does help and often it’s the small things that count. You could take the time to check in with someone in your community who lives alone or offer to help a neighbour with their shopping. It’s worth exploring ways to help others that fit easily into your life, as you’ll probably feel compelled to do it more often. And the more you do, the better you’ll hopefully feel.

5. Steer clear of unhealthy habits

Attempts to deal with stress and anxiety can be helpful or harmful. Many people find that unhealthy habits spiral out of control when used as coping mechanisms. For example, you may start smoking or drinking more, eating lots of sugary or fatty foods, or regularly sleeping in late.

While these behaviours may make you feel better in the short term, in the long run they can make you feel worse – both mentally and physically. Although it can be difficult, it can be better to find other ways to deal with your feelings.

For example, rather than ordering a takeaway and letting your mind run wild, why not take the time to cook something from scratch? Cooking can be an effective form of mindfulness, and knowing that you’re eating healthy, fresh meals can also help you feel more positive.

Or, if you’re struggling to get out of bed in the morning because you’re feeling overwhelmed, you could try starting your day with a stress buster you enjoy – like reading a paper or book even in a soothing bath or walking, jogging or running in a nice environment, or taking a relaxing bath.

Remember, what we want and what we need can be two very different things. So, try to recognise which habits could be adding to your stress and anxiety in the long term and which habits can be relaxing.

6. Connect with others

Stress and anxiety can sometimes trick us into thinking it’s better to shut out the world and dwell on our negative thoughts. And although it can be difficult to force ourselves to reach out to others, we often feel better once we do.

Connecting with others has many benefits, including helping us feel less alone, taking our minds off our worries, and giving us the chance to unwind & relax a bit more. When we talk to others, we also tend to realise that everyone has worries and stresses, which can help to put our issues into perspective.

So, next time you’re not feeling great and you’re preparing for a night in alone, why not make a conscious effort to pick up the phone and talk to a friend or family member? Or even invite them over? Humans are social creatures, and we aren’t designed to go through life alone – so it’s important to reach out. If this seems a stretch too far you could still mingle with people perhaps in a library, on a bus, in the park, charity walk, music or sports stadium were you are still a part of sociality but can take it or leave it. This is also online groups to join where you can drift in & out e.g. X you could enter the debate if you choose, iG/Facebook, Pinterest where you can give Likes or comments

7. Spend time with your pet

Animals are great stress relievers and can offer an escape from the worries of everyday life.

If you’ve ever been greeted at the front door by a wagging tail after a bad day, you’ll know that pets can make you temporarily forget whatever you were worrying about.

The fantastic thing about animals is that they’ll love you unconditionally. They know nothing about what job you do or whether you paid your bills on time – they just want to be loved, cuddled, and, for dogs, walked which can be great for you, too!).

Stress and anxiety can cause us to hone in on problems so much that we may overlook the great things in our lives – like our pets! Try putting negative thoughts aside and spending more time with your pet; walking, playing, or cuddling. You’ll be glad you did, and so will they. Obviously, dogs and cats come to mind but several people get great joy out of other animals birds, fish, reptiles etc. Remember most are defensive animals an rely on you so you also have an accountability to fed and look after them which is a reward within it's self.

If you don’t have a pet, but you’ve been thinking about getting one or looking after a pet. Dog walking can be fun and there you will probably meet other dog owners, home stays looking after pets can be another adventure with both helping towards your financials..

Final thoughts…

It’s important to try to recognise when your stress or anxiety is becoming too much for you to manage on your own.  Sometimes, it might be enough to talk through your feelings with a trusted friend or family member – but other times, it might not be enough.

If you find you’re struggling to cope, it’s worth booking an appointment with your GP, who can talk you through the options available. For stress related to work, it can also help to sit down with your employer and let them know how you’re feeling, so they can take steps to support you.

You could also try contacting a charity like Samaritians who are available to answer your calls 24/7, every day of the year. They won’t judge or tell you what to do – they’ll simply listen for as long as you need. If you feel uncomfortable speaking on the phone or are worried about being overheard, you can always email Samaritans.